Crystal skulls apparently are a big thing with some whacked out New Agers. If you are a New Ager, take offense. I mean it, you are whacked, dude (or dudette). Still, gotta keep an open mind - sort of.  So here's the skinny on the magic powers of crystal skulls.

First off, ya gotta realize we aren't talking your standard basic quartz dohickey or one of those magnificent mesoAmerican primitive pieces. Nope, we're talking about the 13 crystal skulls that originated in Atlantis.

(We'll talk about Atlantis later, no fear). So of these. allegedly 5 have been found and are under the control of - well, who knows really. Now these Atlantean skulls supposedly do weird stuff like produce holograms and make weird sounds. (What can you expect from a bunch of dummies who got themselves wiped out or never existed at all).

There a couple cults running around that have a big thing for the psychic powers imbued into these crystal skulls. Those who believe in the psychic power of these skulls claim they are a center of glowing psychic energy and can increase happiness and improve people's lives just through holding, handling, and speaking with it.  Now if you run around talking to crystal skulls, it could cause a decrease in your level of happiness if they lock you up at the funny farm. And more good stuff, some also claim that they can be used like crystal balls to do divination.

You'd have to believe that you can tell the future with a crystal ball though for that to make any sense.  Think just a little here. If you could tell the future with a crystal ball why aren't all those crystal ball gazers filthy rich from picking winners and short-selling losers on the stock exchange - or making perfect ForEx exchanges or cleaning up on commodities futures - or horse races or dog races or — well, it's a long list.  Instead these cult leader types get filthy rich by sucking off money from the yahoos.

As a grownup adult type, you can blow your disposable income on whatever weird stuff you want. You're not even required to be able to think straight. And you certainly don't have to get all scientific and demand any bizarre thing like proof. You are free to be a fool and an idiot.

Please note however that you are using a computer over the internet. None of that came into existence as a result of hidden masters or crystal skulls. Science. Disprovable hypotheses.  Repeatable results.  REAL magic - the only real magic there is. Isn't the world marvelous enough and strange enough and mysterious enough without a lot of bs like crystal skulls from Atlantis?

Probably someone - or maybe several someone's are going to have a nasty reaction to this.  Carefully analyzing the various articles I have on the the subject of Aqua Chi and so forth I discovered this little gem of covert disgusting honesty buried in the midst of a  bunch of, yes, blather.  Follow along as I translate the article into English.

Around 2004 or as early as 2002, the American people saw an astonishing alternative health method that involves immersing one’s foot into a tub of salted water where it will be subjected to low voltage current which purportedly sucks the accumulated toxins out of the body via the 4,000 odd pores found on each foot.

It was like magic! Like a dialysis machine, the aqua healing detoxification method was very impressive because there is a manifestation of the supposed toxins sucked from the body. To the afflicted, it was like cheating on  their diet, akin to wolfing down hamburgers when everybody is sticking to salads. The followers even claimed that it was indeed the sloth’s way to detoxification. There was no annoying diet system, no grueling exercise plan, no nothing. Nada. You simply sit there for the full 30 minutes while the aqua healing solutions suck the toxins as well as the cholesterol (manifesting as slimy blobs that float on the surface) from your body.

Sounds real good, right? Man, we love this kind of stuff.  But wait ————

If only it was true.

You see, the aqua healing detoxification was just a simple electrolysis procedure that uses two electrodes, an iron catalyst, and water. What takes place right before everyone’s awed eyes is just a chemical reaction due to the current passing from a positive electrode to the water to the negative electrode. And if somewhere along the way there is an iron catalyst, it reacts with water to form a precipitate commonly known as rust.

Oh, gee. We've been had again. Damn. Never fear though, clever distortion merrily creates a new and even better explanation (better since it's impossible to disprove).

Even with the hoax exposed, that didn’t deter promoters of the aqua healing solutions. Now, under a new product name and a new technical rationale that lies protected within the boundaries of biochemistry, promoters of these aqua healing solutions re-enter the alternative medicine scene. Gone now was the extraordinary but fundamental basis of aqua healing solutions, which is detoxification. Now, it is rebalancing of the body’s energies due to the ionized bath. Somewhere along the lines you can also get the hidden message that it still does detoxification but that is due to the wondrous rebalanced human body’s response.  Now it is getting rid of the toxins itself via the liver, kidneys and human excrement. But that is of course after the treatment.

Well, you are now blathered, cosmically. Ya wanna try the magical footsie detoxer, weight loss colon cleanser and rust maker, no problem. It probably won't actually hurt you, but it won't let you gorge with impunity on Italian sausage pizzas either.

Hey, we are all really stressed, right? I am anyway and if you aren't what are you doing looking at this nonsense? OK , now that that's settled, let's take a look at the electric footbath thingy - I think you can get a model with an MP3 player too so you can tune out while you zap your tootsies.

First off how does this thing work. Basically it's kind of simple. You soak your feet in a saltwater bath and the whatsit device passes an electric current through the water. Nah, it won"t do an electric chair on you - not that much juice.

But, does it really do what it claims it’s supposed to do? The claim is that positive and negative ion frequencies resonate through and about your body and thereby stimulate your cells, energizing them - assumedly this being a positive thing. So this is what Aqua Chi Therapy claims to do. However, scientific proof is a little short - or possibly non-existent. It claims to rebalance the cellular energy, giving the cells the ability to effectively release the toxins that have built up over the years.

Yeah, maybe, but Aqua Detox itself has yet to conduct clinical trials to prove this point, simply stating that the required evidence that it works isn’t still available. Orgones. Levitation mantras. Pyramid razor sharpeners. Ooopps, little cynicism there.

So if you have disposable income it might be fun to try it out (they've got it selling under a ton of names). Lots of people really enjoy doing bizarre things to and with feet and maybe it feels really good.

Stay tuned for more crazed material on the aqua chi phenomena and other Weird Alternative Medicine techniques. (Hey, this is serious stuff here, educational, ya know).